Buckle up kids, things are about to get moist
The annual sex issue is upon us, and we at Craccum could not be wetter. AUSA thrust this theme on us so thought we would plow on through. It is not lost on us that most of you probably got the most sexy you will get all year in O-Week, but scheduling is scheduling. On the bright side, if you’re an engineer that time is still to come for you (if ever).
This week it was my job to go down to my local sex store to find some inspiration for our pages. I was unprepared for how big my local sex store (Gigi’s) was, a surprise that was also carried over to some of their products. I can not personally say that I have ever been impaled, but at least I now know I could be in the privacy of my own home for a mere $249. During my exploring I got distracted by the clientele in the store, which were so unfortunately stereotypical. Men in their 50’s strolling around, gold chains in their chest hair, and bad hairpieces on their heads. I thought these men didn’t exist in the modern age, but life is full of surprises. I did, however, have to withhold my deep cringe when one man ambled up to the man behind the counter, and confidently asked “You don’t have any of those Asian girl magazines in yet do you?” Gross dude. Gross. But what really got me as I was strolling through the aisles was the music. To really accentuate the experience was the sweet sounds of Life FM, the christian radio station. It was a juxtaposition that I truly enjoyed, even though it gave a “y’all need jesus vibe”.
The preparation for this issue has provided a lot of laughs at the Craccum office. The condom tasting was a great team building exercise and I highly recommend suggesting it at your next work meeting. Amongst the giggles there have been a few good lines that we feel deserve to be shared this week.
Top quotes from the Craccum Office this week:
“I bought lunch!” *throws boxes of flavoured condoms on the table*
“Why am I the person that is shitting on the engineers?” – Brian, an engineer
“I blocked out the pussyeating and the tit” – Lachlan
“Fucking my own ass and pissing inside myself” – Lachlan, 20 times in 3 days
“Nothing will be more timeless than a Madeline McCann joke”
*Talking about fucking Guy Williams* “He’s tall but he looks likes he has low self esteem”
“Is there any water for the tasting? Fuck, no one is taking this seriously!” – Daniel at the Condom tasting
After the shit that’s happened this week in the office, I think you’ll find us listening to Life FM for a while.