Bailley: I would like to say first off that this is the fastest service I’ve ever gotten at Shadows
Shadows Waiter: Is that all?
(because he hasn’t arrived yet)
David: nearly 15 minutes late
Bailley: I see why he missed his legislation debate now
David: This is my *minder* Caroline.
David: Oh wow, you’ve got a microphone now, you’ve upped the budget
Bailley: Yes we haven’t pissed anyone off lately so we managed to get some money
David: Oh, what’s happened with the campus prudes to criticize your content?
Lachlan: I don’t know, maybe you’re working with them now
David: *nervously laughs*
Chicken Tenders, Asian Bowl (Samosas and Spring Rolls) and Fish Bites
David: I don’t know if its chicken, but it’s not very freaking tender, I’ll tell you that.
David: Wow, yeah. This is an unexpected but not unwelcome development. Surprisingly good.
Bailley: It’s processed meat, crumbed and deep-fried, where can you go wrong?
David: Alright let’s move on (clearly eager for more free food)
Claudia: The fish bites are actually pretty good
Caroline: Really? I thought they were slightly soggy
Lachlan: Well, it’s been sitting there for 20 minutes
Claudia: You know when fish tastes too much like fish? It’s a bad sign. It was too fishy
David: I’m going to have to bail out before I even finish this
Elise: What do you rate them?
Lachlan: …. I can’t think of anything funny. I don’t know, 7/10
Bailley: I am failing to see what part of the plate counts as the “asian” part
Lachlan: The sweet and sour sauce obviously
David: Brian, you should try this Asian bowl.
Brian: The only asian at the table, trying to think of any other reason he might have been singled out specifically
Craccum team and Caroline: laughs nervously
David: How do you say these ones again?
Lachlan: Just to be clear, you need to know how to say ‘Samosa’?
Brian: I mean, I don’t think they’re a Chinese thing.
Caroline: The Samosas are not good
Brian: I wouldn’t be surprised if they packed mashed potatoes in this one.
Bailley: Oh we made you some handy signs to rate the food
David: Hmmm I’m going to give this a ‘Cheap and great value for tax free money’, but since we all have to pay tax, I don’t think anyone will be buying those.
Claudia: I will try one of these spring rolls because I am curious
David: Don’t we live in a great country, where a bunch of students that are probably a bunch of lefties, let a politician eat with them tasting student bar food. Nowhere else in world you’d get that. I’m not confident you guys aren’t going to poison me, but if you do, I won’t be sure if it was Shadows or you guys anyways
Bailley: That may or may not have been discussed
Lachlan: But I bet you can’t wait to find out
Bailley: You’re lucky we decided to stay away from the pineapple toasties
Caroline: That wouldn’t have bothered him. He actually likes pineapple on pizza
Lachlan: There goes my vote
David: That’s what’s great about this country: you do you
Lachlan: Like deregulated chicken tenders
David: Well, that’s the only way to have them
David: Chicken tenders, cheap and great value for tax free money. You’ll be happy spending tax free money on this, I’ll tell ya. Screw you shadows!
Claudia: It was ok, nothing special
David: The samosas and the spring rolls tasted worse than Kelvin Davis’ slushies, if you know what I mean.
Bailley: These need more salt
Claudia: I was thinking exactly that as they put them down
David: They are a neutral palette cleanser
Claudia: A bit too neutral. All you can taste is sauce
Bailley: There’s nothing more kiwi than chips and tomato sauce. It’s the taste of ‘Nu Zilund’
David: I have fish and chips every Friday at the seamarket. Everyone a has a whinge about it but It’s Kiwi
Lachlan: I’ll give you that, that’s a good idea
Bailley: You do do a lot of dancing so I guess its ok
Caroline: Ha! Not anymore
Claudia: BYO salt
Lachlan: If you are crying into your food after a test, then this is the snack for you
Brian: Oh boy! I have been looking forward to these
Lachlan: I am going to abstain from those
Brian: These onions rings are great. I love batter, this is awesome for that crunch
David:This onion ring would be better if it had some onion in it. It’s just a shitload of deep fry
Bailley: It is as crunchy as the chicken tender
David: Well, when you put them together, they’re basically the same stuff.
Elise: I’m just sad no one has rated the lettuce it comes on yet
Caroline: I had it by accident. It was fresh
Elise: Fresh accidental lettuce
David: I want my animals to eat something like that so we can eat them
Lachlan: Ah yes what do you think of the Greens, David?
David: As little as possible
Brian: This tastes almost as sweet as polling above 1%.
Bailley: Crispy on the outside soft on the inside, like Judith Collins
Elise: They were a personal highlight for me really
David: I have a tiny one with this marmite like barbeque sauce
Bailley: Wait, what about the classic sour cream?
David: Tastes worse than Kelvin Davis slushies. I’d almost rather go back to the greens.
Bailley: Don’t they have to want you first?
David: They like me, you’d be surprised
Lachlan: I certainly would be
Elise: Wedges are classic and they didn’t need any extra salt or anything. Perfect as is.
Brian: Solid, top tier snack from shadz. The serving of sweet chilli sauce with them also makes the dish more Asian than their Asian bowl
David: Pretty impressed with the chicken. Definitely tastes better than fifth place than dancing with the stars. Did I say there were 12 contestants? 12.
Lachlan: The nuggets are surprisingly not bad
Bailley: Again, it’s deep fried
Lachlan: Yes, but that didn’t exactly work for the fish thing
Claudia: Yeah that was terrible
Brian: But these nuggets are nowhere near macca’s quality
Lachlan: Are we surprised though?
Bailley: You do also get fries which is nice though
Bailley: A nugget’s a nugget. If I had to choose I would say the tender is better purely for the crunch factor
Lachlan: I can’t think of a joke. Maybe 8/10? Never met a nugget that didn’t deliver.
Overall: the snack menu is good but not amazing. However we will note that we weren’t drunk and if we were, everything would probably taste 5 times better. If you’re not buying food to share, just order three or four toasties and call it a night.