Semester one has finished! Thank fuck. Time for some well earned rest. Except wait, look what’s around the corner! : Semester Two: Electric Boogaloo. If you’re like us here at Craccum, you had some bright plans for what you could achieve during your inter semester break. But just as semester two comes around way too soon, so too did the Craccum deadline. In the spirit of all things rushed, behind schedule and of average quality, here’s a listicle about the top ten things you said you’d do over your break, but then you just well… didn’t.
1: Organise your notes from semester one.
Okay firstly, what notes? Secondly, the ones you do have, they’re still in a heap on the floor by your desk, aren’t they? Don’t deny it, don’t act like you sorted through them for what notes you could use again or what ‘might’ be useful. Our advice: just leave them on the floor in a heap until you can’t remember what those papers were for and recycle them.
2. Find a summer job
The break is a great time to plan for your future and apply for that job or internship that’s going to set your career in motion. [Features Editor Note: Why the fuck do companies make us apply for jobs starting in November in July, why do I have to have my shit togther so early?] You’ll research the companies (google them), and make a bunch of tailored cover letters (copy and paste those keywords) that will impress the panties off recruiters. You go to check the closing dates for applications – WOW, where did all that time go? Submitting your application at 11.59pm on the closing date isn’t the best look, but fingers crossed you manage to send something in!
3. Catch up with friends you haven’t seen in a while
“Omg I’ve missed you let’s catch up!”. With those immortal words you have sealed your fate. You won’t catch up. The days you’re working are your friend’s days off and the days you’re off you’re trying to sleep. Unfortunately your terrible sleep pattern of waking up at 2pm will disrupt your social life, great work.
4. Find a new hobby
“Taking a break from Netflix will be a nice change for me”. There is nothing more satisfying than starting that bullet journal you have been eyeing up on Pinterest in the middle of the fucking year. Keep telling yourself that little change amounts to big change and the biggest obstacle is starting. This constant organization of your life seems totally sustainable during your busy uni semester.
5. Watch missed lectures
Some courses are full year courses! Some degrees have tests throughout the year! Not everyone gets the luxury of abandoning missed lectures twice a year. But really, all things happen for a reason. Maybe you were meant to miss those lectures the first time around. Maybe it’s all part of a larger plan. Keep a positive mindset and try to move on – we both know you won’t be catching up on those lectures any time soon. Alternatively, bang a couple of lectures on while you sleep. Learning through osmosis is a thing right? You’re pretty sure, anyway. Must’ve missed the class on that.
6. Read a book
So much free time! Now you can finally enjoy reading just for the sake of it, and get through all those books you’ve bought but never opened. Sadly, your attention span is not what it used to be – how did going to University destroy your attention span? Maybe try again in the summer holidays. Or maybe stop kidding yourself and accept that only retirees get to read for pleasure.
7. Hit the gym
You were totally prepared. New nike shoes for maximum treadmill grip. Asics singlet with the little holes in the material that make you lift more (or something). Sweatbands for … whatever the fuck sweatbands do [Features Editor Note: Sweatbands wick up sweat?] But then, it hit you – going to the gym sucks. Why sacrifice your holiday at the altar of The Burn when you could be eating like shit and lounging around all day?
8. Sell last semester’s textbooks
You justified buying them because ‘I’ll just sell them next semester for the same price!’ Good luck with that one, Bucko. If you’re particularly unlucky, a new edition will have been released, rendering your $200 + worth of textbooks essentially worthless. Thank god you read them all… right?
9. Marie Kondo your life
Look we aren’t going to lie, we didn’t even have the attention span to watch Marie Kondo’s netflix show, we barely have our own lives together enough to watch someone else get their life together, it’s ridiculous. Here’s an idea: START CLEANING UP NOW, just get on with it.
10. Write for Craccum
We’d be remiss to not include this in every listicle but truthfully, you said you’d write an article for us and then you didn’t. Then you have the audacity to mock our articles! If you think you can do better, write it yourself homeslice!