Hey you, yeah you, fuck you, you’re reading a review of sparkling water. This is seriously what my reviewing has turned into at this time of semester. Did you know it’s week 12, I thought it was week 10 and I’m writing this review for week 12. You’re confused? How do you think I fucking feel?? That being said, sparkling water is really great. It’s like water with static and sharpness. It’s also terrible for your teeth because it weakens your enamel, isn’t that fucking shit, water that damages your teeth? That’d be like if iceberg lettuce shanked you. That being said, sparkling water pairs well with… well anything, it’s just posh water, this water was educated at Epsom Girls Grammar, its’ dad is a lawyer and it flats in Auckland even though Mum and Dad still live in Mt Eden.
In conclusion, sparkling water is a delicious time, it adds texture to water, drink it cold, don’t drink it warm, add some flavour to it and it’s good to go.