Welcome to Craccum, where we put the “agony” in “agony aunt.” We’re not qualified to deal with your problems, but neither are you.
How do I find love (at a distance) in COVID times?
You don’t. You eat potato chips, drink coke, studiously avoid your online lectures, and watch every Chris Evans movie that Netflix can hold. This is not the time to improve yourself, it’s time to become one with the snails in your backyard. Do Nothing and Enjoy It.
Please help me. I am in isolation with my girlfriend and she wants to start a tiktok account. I’m scared that if I do post a tiktok of me and her dancing the boys will roast me. But if I don’t, my lockdown time will get very lonely and boring without her.
Oh god. You can’t break up with someone in lockdown, right? Imagine how awkward that would be. It’s making me physically cringe to think about it.
Is her implication that she will leave you if you don’t dance on Tik Tok for her twelve followers? Wow, you really know how to pick a stable gal with her priorities in perfect order.
I’m gonna level with you – my understanding of Tik Tok is limited (read: non-existent). For a good while, I thought people were talking about that Kesha song. What a bop. Anyway, is it possible to make an account under a fake name? If you have to show your face, then you have to decide what’s more important; your dignity, or your companionship during lockdown. Or wear a COVID mask? It could be on theme. Or offensive. But at least your shame would be hidden.
And then break up with this girl immediately after lockdown ends because seriously. No one should be forced to do that Say So dance. The boys would be right to roast you.
CRACCUM’S CRACKIN’ TIP:
This one goes out to all the lecturers out there. I love that you are passionate, and that you want to teach. But no student on the right side of sanity is going to participate in a voluntary Canvas discussion thread about the recommended readings. You’ll be lucky if people listen to the lectures. Either make it graded or give it up, buttercup.
This may or may not be directed at one of my classes. (Love you Luke, your Robocop lecture was great.)
