Okay look, you couldn’t exactly call last semester’s study outfits a fashion show. In fact, you could barely call them ‘clothes.’ We were mostly rolling out of our beds at 5 to the hour, chucking on the nearest clean (?) T-shirt and pretending our webcam wasn’t working for the Zoom lecture so we didn’t have to show our Bedhead. We thought this semester would be different. It started out this way. But well, now we’re here. The On-campus fashion show should resume soon so get ready for it with your guide to the Outfits of UoA:
We aren’t going to lie and say you all dress like geeks. It would be easy to pick up on some classic Computer Science tropes and suggest you all dress like you’re on Young Sheldon, but we know this isn’t true. Science is just normal style. A nice shirt and jeans. Inoffensive and forgettable. Accessorise by draping your lab coat over your arm and buying a colourful jansport backpack. Bonus points for a grey zip up hoodie.
Hallensteins Chic is your style persona. Sneakers with Jeans! No problem. Ladies love it. That’s what that one shop assistant told you, and your mates all dress like this so it must be cool. You just look extremely sensible, which isn’t exactly a bad thing! It speaks to your character – head in the books.
BONUS: A premade Look Sharp costume for any of your famous steins. A bold choice for you.
Four words. Little shirt, big pants. But it’s not just the clothes that make this look. You must be coated in stolen girlfriend’s club rings, clasping a keep cup in your jittering hands and sporting some endearing undereye circles. You’re likely aiming for the effortless look, but have actually revealed your internalised need to meet classic beauty standards through the overly constructed and tryhard vibe you’re putting out. It’s very likely that the things you own ARE from chain stores, but you’re great at hiding the fast fashion tags with your beige tote bag.
Boardroom casual is the name of the game. You’re not stuffy and formal enough yet, but you dress to impress. Collared shirts, jeans, boots. Always a nice coat. Sometimes you venture into sweater territory. Often your style is flavoured by your Conjoint.
Did you buy that at the mall? Oh hell no! Gross. To dress the part, you must have hit up K Rd, found your assortment of alternative recycled fashion and then hit up SaveMart to find some more. Old patterns, big jeans and white pumas. Bonus for chain necklaces and vaguely vintage jewellery. Every now and then, a piece of your wardrobe will have a strategic bit of paint laid across it. One day, you hope, someone will ask you about it.
Channeling the energy of your fave Primary School teachers, everything is fun and funky and looks a good few years too old for you. You’re mostly practicing the modest dress sense you’ll have to abide by when you land a job. You often sport a bit of a wildcard for your accessory; big statement earrings, colourful sneakers or a watch made for children. Sometimes placements have you getting pretty run down, so you’re part of the faculty most likely to don sweatpants on campus. Don’t worry, the authoritative vibe you put out draws attention by itself.
A wide variety of styles. Just like the wide variety of medical specialities! Most Grafton kids are dressed well. Though as the years go on and your clinical years get closer, we see a shift to White Coat Chic. Think of what your GP might wear. Thermometers and Stethoscopes are your greatest accessories.
Are all business students heading to the gym at the end of lecture? Or have they just dropped by class after a session. OGGB is filled with people dressed in basketball shorts and workout tights, cuddled by hoodies and Kathmandu jackets to beat the ice winds flowing through the basement. Occasionally, the sea of wannabe fitness influencers is parted by the Moses of Business School; people dressed in white collars and dress pants, carrying briefcases to class, most likely on their way to the MCC Case competition.
The paths diverge a little here. One group of the music kids is filled with the students who are really, really focused on perfecting their craft. They keep it casual, with well-fitting jeans, t-shirts and a warm jacket. Most of the time they’re quiet and kind, and can be distinguished by their large Cello case. The other group don big t-shirts, big pants and Nikes, casually carrying their guitars around campus. They’re more interested in the label of ‘music major,’ making people mixtapes and introducing their romantic interests to ‘bands you’ve probably never heard of.’ Some of the best dressers and biggest heartbreakers on campus.
Hands down. Best dressers. End of story. Well put together, with classic and timeless silhouettes. We’re most likely already in love with you. Are we thinking of Ted Moseby? Joseph Gordon Levitt in 500 Days of Summer? Probably. Whatever, if you’re an Architecture student with pretty hands and a good sense of style, you’re probably the hottest person on campus. Flick Maddy an email 😉
The Dunedin Transfer: Listen, we get it. You went to Dunners to escape your family, grow your social circles and attempt to study Med. Unfortunately, your plan has fractured due to mingling with the South Island’s worst and binge-drinking, and you’ve ended up at the much less rowdy UOA campus. But, that is not an excuse to wear your Huffer hoodie, Speights shirt and dirty jeans to campus. This is Auckland City baby. It’s time to adapt, strut your stuff down Symonds St and create a more positive relationship to uni. You got this!
The Influencer: Sometimes, you’ll catch a glimpse of someone looking too immaculate on campus. They just look a little more expensive, a little too calm and collected. They sport minimalist clothes from NZ made brands and shoes that actually look like real leather. Do they model? Do they make money on Insta? Do they just have rich parents? Do they even go here??
Struggling Through Exam Szn: Is that a t-shirt with an abstract pattern, or did you spill your Subway sauce while scarfing down a sandwich at lunch? The exam look is not exactly a ‘look,’ it’s more of a mobilization of your dirty laundry pile. It just means you’re responsible! You’ve sacrificed all methods of self-care and turned into a note-reciting zombie to try and achieve a B+ in your gen ed course. Well done! This ‘fit is best complemented with angry glares at anyone who seems to actually have their shit together.