Earlier this week, actress and writer Michelle Langstone tweeted that Chris Hipkins looked “studious and slightly snappy … like he edits Craccum or something”. The tweet got us thinking – if student mags were politicians, who would they be?
Craccum (University of Auckland) – Chris Hipkins (Labour, Remutaka)
See attached tweet from Michelle Langston. There’s not much to add to it. The University of Auckland is the most white bread, straight-laced, ‘I’m only here to study’ university of them all, and Craccum, like Chris, reflects that.
Critic – Te Arohi (University of Otago) – Speaker Trevor Mallard (Labour, List)
No nonsense, impartial, direct, and not afraid to stir shit – just like our boy Speaker Trev during a house sitting. Critic isn’t afraid to tell anyone off when they see something that isn’t on, and it’s that no bullshit approach to life (and politics) that makes Trev such a perfect fit. Plus, you get the vibe that they’d always be up for a drink or two.
Salient (University of Wellington) – Golriz Ghahraman (Green, List)
Social justice warrior, environmentalist, and keen on the whacky-baccy, Golriz is basically the living embodiment of Salient. Like Salient, she’s sassy, out-spoken, and political to the core. (We could give you our dear mate Chlöe Swarbrick but she’s too much of a JAFA to give away.)
Debate (Auckland University of Technology) – Paula Bennett (National, Upper Harbour)
They’re both sleek, glossy and modern, and don’t take shit from anyone. Always overshadowed and underappreciated (*cough* Bill English and Simon Bridges *cough*), Debate deserves more credit, just like Paula. Bowl lattes and three cheese paninis anyone?
Nexus (University of Waikato) – Winston Peters (New Zealand First leader, List)
Rural, hard-drinking, a bit too macho, and needlessly controversial. Enough said.
Canta (University of Canterbury) – Kelvin Davis (Deputy Labour leader, Te Tai Tokerau)
Like Kelvin Davis, Canta are hard-working, empathetic, and massively, massively underrated. Serious but laid back, Canta has been holding down the fort in Canterbury for years now. They don’t get much recognition for it, but you get the vibe that they don’t really care – they’re doing it because they like doing it, and they don’t need any external validation to know when they’re kicking ass.
Massive (Massey University) – Former MP Jim Anderton (RIP)
Massive are all over the place. Literally. They publish for campuses on the North Shore, in Manawatu, and in Wellington. Just like former MP Jim Anderton – who jumped from Labour to New Labour, from New Labour to Alliance, and then from Alliance to Progressive – they have no one fixed abode. Massive aren’t afraid to ruffle a few feathers, just like Jim did with his controversial stance on Rogernomics, and the fuck-you-if-you-don’t-like-this vibe of the magazine reflects this. Rest easy Jim.
