Welcome to Craccum, where we put the “agony” in “agony aunt.” We’re not qualified to deal with your problems, but neither are you.
Can you please make a playlist to cry to and put it on Spotify?
Your wish is my command.
WHO ASKED YOU PRESENTS: THE NOSTALGIA PLAYLIST
Are you a nineties kid? Of course you are, you can’t shut the fuck up about it. Here are ten songs from your childhood guaranteed to make you cry nostalgic tears for the childhood you wasted.
- THIS IS ME – CAMP ROCK (Demi Lovato): The OG self-love ANTHEM. This song is a certified bop and will remain one until the end of time.
- WHEREVER I GO – HANNAH MONTANA (Miley Cyrus): If you don’t cry, you’re a robot. I don’t make the rules, I just write about them.
- WHEN SHE LOVED ME – TOY STORY 2 (Sarah McLachlan): This song should be a fucking war crime. When paired with that montage of Jessie being left behind, it’s weapons-grade water-works nuclear bomb.
- HALLELUJAH – SHREK (Rufus Wainwright): I know, alright, I KNOW this song was a thing way before Shrek. But Shrek is what made it great and I will not be taking any criticism of this fact. Fiona LEFT him okay and they were both DEVASTATED and this MOVIE still GETS ME every TIME.
- REFLECTION – MULAN (Lea Salonga): WHY IS MY REEEEEFLECTION SOMEONE IIIIIIIII DON’T KNOW.
- CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT – THE LION KING (Elton John): Don’t even come NEAR me with that remade nonsense. We live and die by the ORIGINAL greatness.
- READY, SET, DON’T GO – HANNAH MONTANA (Billy Ray and Miley Cyrus): If you’ve moved out of home, this will make you cry until you die of dehydration. If you haven’t moved out yet, you’ll still cry for Miley and Billy. Yes this is the second Hannah Montana song on this list, it was the greatest Disney show of all time, don’t @ me.
- SWEET VICTORY – SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS (David Glen Eisley): I still can’t believe that they didn’t play this at the Superbowl. Squidward’s shock will never be equalled in its televisual greatness. In your FACE, Squilliam.
- WORDS TO ME – SCOOBY DOO (Sugar Ray): I purely included this for my little brother. This one’s for you, Ads. Also, it’s a bop.
- WHAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF – THE LIZZIE MACGUIRE MOVIE (Hillary Duff feat. Hillary Duff): FUCK YOU PABLO, LIZZIE DOESN’T NEED YOU. SHE HAS HER INEXPLICABLE CLONE TO SING THE DUET WITH HER. Great show followed by a great movie.
