Gonna review myself on this one! A while ago, I did a big feature that asked us all to not underestimate Judith Collins – ‘yes, she’s utterly corrupt and entirely unelectable, but she’s really smart and vicious and while she won’t win, who knows what will happen??’ Lol. I’m a fucking idiot. Imagine spending like 1200 words trying to be measured about the rise of a corrupt scumbag to the party leadership, because you thought you knew enough about NZ politics to predict how things would go. Turns out that base instincts are really all you need sometimes, forget the desire to waffle.
Despite all the anecdotal evidence about ol’ Judith being a genius and deeper than what was on the surface, it turns out that, no, she’s as self-destructive as one might have guessed. Don’t need to be the Governess on The Chase to guess that bit of trivia. Like, have you seen the debates? Jesus wept. The most recent debate – as of writing – hosted by Stuff was just a masterpiece in how to end a campaign. Like, I’ve seen Megatron blow up Chicago with more grace – he would have simply vaporised the jeering crowd, not rise to their antics and try to match their screams with bitter stabs. Watch this space: MPs seem pretty fuckin’ pleased to leak to Tova their intentions to do a coup the moment the election is lost. Good lord. I really thought I was being clever by presenting a more multifaceted view of the woman, but it turns out, I was the sucker! Turns out, I’m a dumbass!
