Halls: Heaven or Hell?

Moving into the halls is weird. It’s exciting, it’s gross, it’s frightening. But most of all, it’s a barrel of hyper-specific events that typically only happen when you live in the halls. Take that in whichever way helps you process your experience. Thankfully some people were willing to share their experiences and advice. 

Hell Stories:

Matt from Waipārūrū says:

“It all started in O’Week - everyone's favourite time to start a sordid affair with a stranger from across the country. A guy I knew from before halls decided that he was going to make some less than savoury moves on as many women as he could before the end of the week. At least, that’s what it looked like to me. At every turn he was chatting up another girl, and I was drunk enough to be losing track. It was chaos, until… He found the girl he was going to bury in his bed. They were famed for being loud, at the dismay of the rest of us. Until one night, it was all quiet on the western front. Could it be they quietened down? Oh no, that would be way too simple. Our trusty super slag was on another floor, banging another girl just as loud. I swear it became a competition to see who could be more dramatic. Thank goodness the girl from the other floor seemed to win?” 

Anonymous from UniHall Towers says:

“Living in the halls is fun as but even though you aren’t ever really alone, there were times where I just felt really lonely. I don’t know why, but yeah I just went home when I felt like that.” 

Simon from Carlaw says:

“I hated calling the duty phone in my first year. It’s so embarrassing to have an RA have to come and sort out whatever mess you were in. Sometimes, though, I loved seeking petty revenge with a noise complaint or reporting bad behaviour on my floor. This time, I was desperate. My neighbours were fucking so loud I couldn’t sleep. I felt like I was in the room with them, only thank god I didn’t have to watch. I thought, enough is enough, and I called the duty phone. Only, by the time the duty RA was there, they’d finished. Embarrassing… The next night, it began again - so I called straight away. It seemed old mate must’ve been worked up because in the 2 minutes it took the RA to get there, well let’s just say there weren’t any more noises out of them that night.” 

Lily-Mae from Waipārūrū say: 

“I was cooking my noodles in the microwave once and it accidentally caught on fire. We pulled it out and had to fan it out with my hoodie and some tea towels. I didn’t know that there were bits of metal and foil on the noodle cup! Some advice I would give is be kind and true to yourself. Remember that this is a first experience for everyone.” 

Sa, an overstayer from Te Tirohanga o te Tōangaroa, says: 

“When you keep on coming in a lot, the staff think you just stay there. I had a lot of friends living there one year so I stayed with one mate most of the time rather than going home. I will say though, the floor was better than that brick bed.” 

Heaven Stories:  

Annie from Waipārūrū says:

“I would say definitely go to the clubs in when you’re in halls! There’s Karaoke Bars that are fun to go. Bar 101 is a sad must, and crawling down to Holey Moley. My friends loved taking the bus to Newmarket, there’s a lot more to do there. Provedor and Rosie’s are good too. I didn’t really do much else. Also, go out for dinner in Ponsonby to see the night life.” 

Aoatea from O’Rorke and Unihall Towers says:

“Take advantage of all of the events this year - try all the different things that they offer. You meet a lot of people when you attend the events. Those people will become your friends for years after.” 

Tiare from Grafton says:

“[My floor] clicked in the very first week. We got to go out to the city and explore Tamaki all together. It was exciting because most of the people weren’t from Auckland so they got to experience it for the first time. I did need to tell a couple people though that I needed time to myself so I could sort everything out when I first moved.” 

Some personal advice/tales from Te Hira 

• Cutlery Amnesty - too many cutlery pieces had gone missing, and we were told we’d be charged for the missing items if they weren’t returned in a week 
• Using a sock to cover the light sensors for movie night 
• Watching people order UberEats when the menu for dinner is Lamb Pilaf 
• A couch in the elevator that stayed there for a month until someone got caught sleeping on it 
• The floor fridge being the most unsafe place to store your food 
• Two mates showering at the same time so they could listen to a new album together 
• Pretending you’re vegan to get sorbet as your dessert 
• Having to invest in truly noise-cancelling headphones - you’ll figure this one out eventually 
• Cooking noodles in the kettle 
• The study room on your floor always being occupied by the med students 
• Floor 2 deviants taking the elevator at peak rush hours 
• The washing machines overflowing too often 
• Using the toilet when someone is taking a shower to hide any noises 
• A whole salad being spilled in the elevator and no one touched it for 3 days 
• Knowing that the fire alarm hates to see someone use the toaster 
• Someone calling the RA as noise control because some people on your floor are getting acquainted with each other (please see the note about headphones if this occurs again) 
• Waiting until the last 15 mins of dinner service so you can get a second round of food 
• Coming back from hours of lectures just to see the first person you talked to at o-week sitting on your bed playing guitar 
• Getting locked out of your room during the semester break without your phone, so you have to run around the floor in your towel trying to find someone that is still there to call the RAs, who end up just laughing when they realise you had the most cliche university accommodation experience 

If you couldn’t tell that last point was a personal, and absolutely embarrassing, experience. 

But hey, if you can’t laugh at yourself your RAs will certainly do it for you. 

Disclaimer

The views and opinions expressed by authors in their submissions do not necessarily reflect those of Craccum. Craccum does not endorse any content or viewpoints published and is not responsible for the accuracy or reliability of the information provided by contributors.