Surviving the Softcockalypse with Chopper
Ozzie comic Heath Franklin Chopper kicked off with chaos and crude jokes, but delivered sharp wit, wild range, and surprise depth. Call it satire, stand-up, or softcockalypse – just don’t call it boring.
Before going to Chopper’s show, I knew exactly three things about the guy: he’s a sunnies-loving Ozzie with a rad nickname.
The start was a bit cringe. It kicked off with strobe lights, a pre-recorded fast-forward-to-2030 commentary, and he said fuck twenty times – all within the first six minutes. (Trust me, I was counting. Also, don’t fact-check me.)
Generally, when comics lean too hard on sex jokes and innuendo, it feels lazy – and that was the initial vibe. But honestly, Chopper surprised me. He riffed on To Catch a Predator, fishing for vegans, sparkies, and Catholic priests. Oh wait… not all bait's hypothetical.
What I appreciated most was the range. He cracked jokes about everything from Noah’s Ark to tote bags, Botox, Crocs, picnics, and Bridgerton. Not every joke landed – some felt overly crass or overstayed their welcome – but there really was something for everyone. And whether or not you agreed with him, you couldn’t deny his passion.
Chopper nailed keeping a room full of drunken hecklers engaged, which is no easy feat in the 700-seat SkyCity Theatre.
My buddy summed it up nicely: “It was really just about what pisses him off.”
I’m not saying I’ll set a Google Alert for Chopper, but if he pops up in a YouTube Short, I won’t skip it.
Let’s call it a solid 7.5 out of 10. Or 7.69, just for him.
